Thoughts From The Valley: The 'Bama Beatdown and The Awesomeness of Denard Robinson

The Hangover

HOW I AM FEELING: Not nearly as bad as you might think, folks. Yes, My Beloved Penn State Nittany Lions got absolutely drubbed by Mighty Alabama and SABAN down in Tuscaloosa on Saturday night. But it could have been worse. It could have been a lot worse, actually. We moved the ball. We held them to 24 points. We didn't embarrass ourselves. Young Robert didn't get hurt. It's all good. Except, you know, the part about losing.

WHAT I AM DRINKING: Sly Fox Brewing Route 113 IPA. A fine, tasty, powerful IPA. Robust (yes, a full 7 percent ABV!), hoppy, and not at all too sweet or syrupy. I have long been a fan of the Victory Hop Devil, of course. But I think this beer just might be every bit as good. The new Official Autumnal Beer of TCFA? Maybe. Just maybe. Change is good, folks. Except, that is, if that change involves Penn State not winning 11 games again this season. Sigh.

WHAT I AM LISTENING TO: Ryan Bingham, Junky Star. There is more to Ryan Bingham than this song and this song. But even if there wasn't, he'd still be worth listening to. Because I swear, his voice was made by God specifically to be played during college football tailgates.

VILLA UPDATE: Aston Villa FC, Official Barclay's Premier League Football Club Of TCFA, takes to the pitch on Monday afternoon against Stoke City. I'm sure you're all anxiously awaiting that one. Oh, and some other good news: Villa is reportedly set to sign Ashley Young, their best player and Generally Awesome Winger, to a new long-term deal. Champions League, here we come!

MY THOUGHTS ON THE WEEKEND: I am not surprised Penn State lost. I'm really not.

I mean, as I wrote here on Friday, I didn't expect My Beloved Nittany Lions to even be competitive, much less win.

And as much as it sucked to realize in the span of a three-hour football game just how far we are behind the ruling college football elite—if Penn State wants to compete at that level, well, don't even get me started ...—in all honestly, there's a whole lot that I think Penn State fans should actually be happy about today. Because while the game itself may not have been pretty, only a true glass-is-half-full kind of person could have watched and not seen The Good Things That Your Editor Saw.

Penn State fans should be happy, first, that Young Robert looked so darn cool under presssure. Were his numbers great? No. Did he make some mistakes? Yes. But there is consensus among Penn State football watchers on this: Bolden is an extraordinary talent. He will be a great one, maybe the best we've had since Kerry Collins, and that's saying something, because neither Daryll Clark nor Michael Robinson were chumps.

Nits fans should also be happy about their wideouts—maybe the most talented and diverse bunch we've had in years. Derek Moye is a player. The Diminutive Devon Smith is a player; more specifically, he's lightning in a bottle. Youngsters Justin Brown and Shawney Kersey are players, too; physically, both have NFL size and speed. There is depth here, folks. Young depth. Which means Young Robert is going to have some serious weapons for years to come.

Finally, Nits fans should be happy about how the offensive coaches approached this game. They didn't go into their usual We're-Playing-A-Tough-Team-On-The-Road Shell. They only ran The Famously Slow-Developing Penn State Off-Tackle Run For A Two-Yard Loss play once. Once! They ran a couple reverses. Showed some new looks. Allowed Young Robert to make some throws. I mean, that's a good sign, folks; Galen Hall, The Much-Maligned Jay Paterno and all of the other guys on this offensive staff must really believe in this offense. More importantly, they must have somehow convinced Saint Joe Paterno to believe in this offense, too.

My honest opinion? By year's end, this team will be putting up some serious points; 35 points per game, easy. And next year's offense? Well, it figures to be every bit as good as the units we fielded in 2008 and 1994. Yes, there is that much talent here.

Which brings us, sadly, to the defense

I'll start with this: Tom Bradley's defenses have been ranked in the Top 15 nationally each season since 2004. That's a damn impressive feat, folks, and is illustrative of the fact that Bradley, Larry Johnson Sr., Ron Vanderlinden and all of those other defensive coaches know who to recruit for defense, know how to coach for defense, and know how to run a defense.

These guys are good, head-coach-caliber assistants; as a result, Penn State's recent defenses have been outstanding.

But, sadly, this year's defense is not goign to be good.

This is not a Top 15 defense. It may not even be a Top 30 defense. Because the talent is just not there.

The linebackers are slow and not necessarily all that smart. Sophomore Gerald Hodges, a future star who was scheduled to start on Saturday night, may have been able to salvage this group. Unfortunately, Hodges was injured on the opening kickoff—after initial reports suggesting he had suffered a broken leg, it seems it was "just" a deep bone bruise—and will be out of action until at least late October.

The safeties are really, really bad. Drew Astorino, a good kid and great competitor, simply doesn't look like the same player who was so effective back in 2008. And Nick Sukay specializes mostly in being out of position and getting beat for big plays.

Finally--and this is the thing that I find most depressing--the defense line, which year-in and year-out has been so incredibly crucial to Penn State's overall defensive success, is probably the weakest we've had since 2003. Defensive end Jack Crawford has received a lot of hype; I've yet to see him make a play. Defensive tackle Devon Still has received a lot of hype, too; but other than being very large, I don't see anything notable about him. Then there's Ollie Ogbu, Sean Stanley, Brandon Ware and all the others—good complimentary players who just aren't good enough to be "the guy."

In sum: This Penn State defense is slow, lacks agression and can't tackle very well.

It is, in other words, not a Penn State defense.

And it's going to cause us Nits fans plenty of heartache over the next four months. But hey, we had a pretty good run. Time to see how the other half lives.

THREE YARDS AND A CLOUD OF DUST

THREE: Enough misery, though, Nits fans. On this Somewhat Gloomy Sunday, you can take solace in the fact that you didn't go to to Virginia Tech. In case you hadn't heard, folks, the Hokies fell on Satudray (at home) to the James Madison Dukes. James Madison, of course, isn't even an FBS school. So, yeah, their win comes as somewhat of a shock (earlier this week, their coach said it was "comical" to think his team could pull off the upset). The Hokies opened the season as an alleged national title contender, but now they're sitting at 0-2, and their fans are, well, not happy. Here are a few gems from the Virginia Tech message boards, where the panic is widespread and the anger downright tangible. Hokie Message Board Gem No. 1. "FIRE BEAMER." Hokie Message Board Gem. No. 2. "Virginia Tech has the worst offensive coordinator in all of college football. [Bryan] Stinespring must go. He was a pathetic unsuccessful high school coach and has no business being where he is. He may be a great guy. Let him sell cars or something. Just get him away from VT football." Hokie Message Board Gem No. 1: "Let's just hope we don't end up like Michigan a couple of years ago."

TWO: If there's a better player in the country than Denard Robinson, well, I'd like to see him. Holy hell this kid is good. He accounted for freaking 503 yards of offense against Notre Dame. Yes, 503 yards. And three touchdowns. Including an 87-yarder. Oh, and the gamewinner with 20 seconds to play. Denard Robinson is The Fastest Player In The History Of The Big Ten and shall therefore be referred to as such here at TCFA for all of eternity. Or, at least until somebody faster comes along. If that's even possible.

ONE: There was only one player on Saturday who was even close to being as good as Robinson. That player is South Carolina freshman tailback Marcus Lattimore, who is so damn good that he's actually turned the Ole Ball Coach into Woody Hayes. In Carolina's Absolutely Enormous Win over Georgia (Mark Richt = understandably nervous) on Saturday, Ole Ball Coach gave the ball to Lattimore 37 times. Thirty-seven times! What did Lattimore do with those 37 carries? Well, he did this: 182 yards, two touchdowns. For the record, Penn State fans, we did recruit this kid. We recruited him very well. And by all accounts, his decision actually came down to us and South Carolina. For reasons that defy logic, he chose South Carolina, but it seems to be working out quite well for him. Great. Anyway, no worries, because we've got Silas Redd. Who will be very good in his own right. And could very well be the best tailback on our roster right now (what in the world has happened to Evan Royster?). By the way, folks, did you notice how Redd took over for Royster in the fourth quarter last night? Don't think for a moment that there wasn't a reason for that.

TOUCHDOWN: Just want to throw this out there for my Buckeye fan readers: I think we can go ahead and admit now, Bucks fans, that Terrelle Pryor still makes some awfully dumb decisions, still has the nasty habit of throwing really stupid passes and still isn't a very accurate quarterback. The kid is good, yes. And I have no doubt that Terrelle Pryor's Ridiculous Athletic Ability is going to win you a bunch of games this year. But I also have no doubt that Terrelle Pryor's Head is going to lose you a couple, too. He's not "there" yet. He's just not. Anyway, congrats on the win.