Oct 21, 2010

This much is clear: This season is shot all to hell.

It’s shot all to hell for me, an unabashed Penn State Nittany Lions fan.

It's shot all to hell, too (and coincidentally), for three of my best buds: TCFA Podcast Co-Host Mike Unger (an Indiana fan); Unsouthern Southern Guy Brian Schleter (a Georgia fan), and Scotto Burke (a Pitt fan), who has no nickname.

The combined records of our four sorry teams this season?

An uninspiring 13-12.

And if not for Indiana, the other three teams (the "traditional powers," if you will) would have a combined losing record.

Which means the following:

1. None or our teams is going to be anything more than average.

2. None of our teams are going to A Bowl Game Of Note.

3. None of our teams … matters.

Asked to sum up The Sorry State Of Affairs, the trio offered the following:

Co-Host Mike: "At Indiana we strive for mediocrity, and at 4-2, we still have a chance to accomplish that admirable goal."

Nickname-less Scott: "Bad even by Big East standards."

SEC-Brainwashed Brian: "We are still better than more than half the teams in the Big Ten."

Ignoring the ignorance of that last sentence for a moment, the situation, quite simply, is this: For all four of us, the 2010 is almost completely and utterly meaningless (that is, almost completely and utterly meaningless, because we all know that no college football season is truly meaningless; for, let us ask, how can The Greatest Sport The World Has Ever Seen And The Greatest Thing About Being An American truly be meaningless?).

How to salvage This Almost Completely And Utterly Meaningless Season?

How to enjoy this season For What It Is?

Answer: College Football Bar Tour.

***

That’s right, dear readers and friends.

It’s College Football Bar Tour time.

Yes, it is true that Your Editor’s season is shot all to hell. And yes, it is true that Your Editor’s Friends’ seasons are all shot to hell, too.

But we still love college football. We still love college football Saturdays. And we still love going to bars and watching college football on college football Saturdays, even though we are advancing in age and find it hard to remain awake after dusk.

So this, my friends, is precisely what we shall do on this Saturday: Merrily meander from one Fine Establishment (I presume?) to the next, sipping finely made craft beers and/or the occasional White Russian, taking in all of the action of the day (“action” being relative, for we will likely be watching Our Awful Teams, which are generally incapable of producing “action”). We will revel in the greatness of college football—rivalries, traditions, fight songs, borderline pathologically passionate fan bases, moments of jaw-dropping awesomeness.

And we shall do all of this this reveling at … bars Wonderful bars. Bars with names like "The Ivy Inn" and "The Oakmont National Pub" and "McGillicuddy's." Bars that brag about having shuffleboard tables. Bars that consider Yuengling to be a "rich-guy beer." Bars that have those weird ashtray garbage cans out front.

The location of This Grand Event will the be quaint borough of Havertown, Pa., which is kind of like Happy Valley, Chapel Hill, Lincoln, Ann Arbor, Athens, Madison or Iowa City—minus, you know, the massive university, the college football team, the college football stadium, and the generally collegiate/pretty atmosphere. Havertown is kinda near Villanova, though. And the Wildcats won the Football Championship Subdivision/Division I-AA national championship last year. So yeah it’s a college town. Or, at least, the best one that we’ve got nearby.

Anyway, it will be a blast, folks.

A beautiful autumn Saturday.

Good friends.

Bars.

College football.

Memories in the making.

It’s the perfect cure—the only cure, really—for a truly awful season.

[Editor's Note: If you are in the Philadelphia area and care to meet the TCFA team out for a drink or two, please check out this week's podcast for details.]

Out and About: News and Notes you may have missed

• True Statement: College football fans are nutjobs. For the latest evidence of our collective nutjobbery, let us turn our thoughtful gaze southward, to Gainesville, where Urban Meyer—he of two national titles, three SEC titles, six bowl wins in seven tries, a career record of 61-13 and a horrible nickname ("The Urbanator")—finds himself being lambasted by Completely And Utterly Ungrateful Gators Fans. And the local media, too. To wit: Orlando Sentinel columnist George Diaz wrote this week that the Florida program is in a state of “physical and emotional disarray” and that “the man once labeled ‘the Urbanator’ has lost his mojo.” Longtime Gainesville Sun columnist Pat Dooley, for his part, said that the Gators “should be embarrassed” of themselves, then wrote the following not-so-kind screed: “I know this much—I’m happy Florida is off next week. Because we don’t have to watch them.” And then, of course, there are the fans, a group of whom are actually running a website called (wait for it …) FireCoachMeyer.com, where they ask: “What is it going to take for the University, Alumni and Fans to realize that the leadership of Urban is now bringing down the program?” This world we live in, my friends, is populated almost entirely by idiots.

• Because it is quite likely that you never watch Kentucky football—heck not even people in Kentucky watch Kentucky football (hint: that was a teaser)—I am guessing you have not heard about the story, even though it broke five days ago. So I’m going to share it now. Here goes: Randall Cobb is a star wideout for the Wildcats who last week caught the game-winning touchdown pass in a 31-28 upset of South Carolina in Lexington. Given the enormous win—Kentucky's first against The Ole Ball Coach—you would think that Cobb would be, you know, happy afteward. But he wasn’t happy. And everyone who was follwoing him on Twitter that evening knew it. ‘Cause here is what Cobb wrote just hours after the win: “To all the fans: loved seein’ y’all come late, love hearing y’all tell us we suck during the game, love that we have to play against our own fans too! Love that we can’t pack the house when we play the No. 10 team in the nation.” He later added: “I love my team. The rest of y’all can get ready for bball season!” as you might expect, Cobb was heavily criticized for all of this nonsense, and I guess he should have expected that. Maybe even deserved it. But you know what? I like what Cobb wrote. I like that he ripped the Kentucky fans for being a bunch of frontrunners. And I like that he called them out for treating the football Wildcats as nothing more than a pre-hoops appetizer. See, folks, it’s a super-sanitized sporting world that we live in these days, and occasionally—just occasionally—it’s nice to hear some honesty out there. Good for you, Randall Cobb. You are one step closer to the TCFA Hall of Fame.

quick hits: news and notes you may have missed

• As you’ve all likely heard by now, Rutgers defensive end Eric LeGrand suffered a devastating neck injury during his team’s overtime win over Army last week. The injury has left LeGrand paralyzed, at least temporarily, from the neck down. If you’d like to send a get-well message to a LeGrand and his family, you can do so here. Let’s hope and pray that this kid enjoys a full recovery.

• On a related note: While you all know that I'm no fan of That Awful And Boring Professional League, I fully support Commissioner Roger Goodell's actions to crack down on so-called "devastating hits." The game has changed in recent years—and changed for the worse. Defensive players are literally out there playing with the intent to injure people. Heck, they admit this. But here's the thing: Football is not about crushing and/or concussing defenseless receivers. It's about moving the ball down the field and stopping the other team from doing the same. These goals can be accomplished without nearly killing somebody. And, yes, I believe this to be true: If something isn't done to cut down on these helmet-to-helmet, heat-seaking-missle hits, somebody is going to get killed. The NFL is right to take action here. Hopefully colleges and high schools will follow suit. Now, on to some lighter stuff ...

• Further proof that Jim Harbaugh aka The Next Head Coach At Penn State is awesome: As the Pac-10 prepared its expansion plan this week, the league also began considering (much-needed) changes to its revenue-"sharing" model—a model that in the past had favored (non-surprise coming) USC and UCLA (and, recently, Oregon) over pretty much everyone else. For instance, in the 2007-2008 and 2008-2009 academic years, USC earned $22.9 million via the league’s television deals. Stanford? Well, the poor Tree earned just $14.1 million. And Penn State’s future coach didn't like that situation one bit. As he said this week, while being fitted for his black shoes and navy blue polo shirt: “Who cut that deal? I hope we get a better negotiator in these meeting than the last [meeting]. It should be an equitable split. That’s what being in a conference is all about.”

• Shocking development: Baylor is 5-2. The Bears need just one more win to become bowl eligible—something they haven’t been for 15 years. Said coach Art Briles: “We’re on the bridge. We just need to cross it.” Prediction: The Bears will cross that bridge. Prediction No. 2: Penn State vs. Baylor in the 2010 Texas Football Classic.

• When Minnesota opened the beautiful TCF(A) Bank Stadium last year, they also made the decision to ban alcohol sales at the stadium. This (questionable) decision costs the school about $3 million each year (that’s an awful lot of Lite beers, folks). But now that the Gophers need a new coach—and now that they need to pay top dollar for this coach-to-be (Mike Leach likes money)—there is some chatter that the school may overturn that alcohol ban. Even Tim Brewster can be happy about that.

• North Texas fired coach Todd Dodge this week. The news was not surprising to people in Texas, because Dodge had amassed a record of 6-37 at North Texas. It was somewhat surprising to me, though, because I honestly had forgotten that they played Division I football at North Texas. Even more surprising? This: North Texas is actually building a beautiful new stadium for its awful football program. I mean, this stadium looks nice, folks. Which means this: North Texas, currently playing the Sun Belt, is angling for a spot in the comparatively more lucrative WAC. Expect this to happen sooner rather than later.

• My upset pick of the week: Missouri by two touchdowns over No. 1 Oklahoma. The Tigers can play some defense.

• Cliff Lee. Three 2010 postseason starts. Thirty-four freaking strikeouts.

• Mildly humorous note about "The Ivy Inn," one of the establishments that Your Editor And Gang will be hitting during The TCFA Bar Tour: On its beer list, this bar lists Victory Hop Devil as an "import." Even though Victory Hop Devil is brewed about 15 miles away. In Downingtown, Pa.

• Looking for this week's picks? Well, click here.

• Looking for this week's podcast (which includes the super-secret passward that will allow you to hang out and even drink with The TCFA Podcast Team—Your Editor, Co-Host Mike and Sound Engineer Bobby)? Well, click here.