Nov 4, 2010

By now you have most likely heard that presidents from the Big East Conference (snore) have approved a plan to expand from eight football-playing members to 10 football-playing members.

It is a move that is not exactly visionary, as some less-than-intrepid commentators have called it. It is also not a move that could be called bold, interesting, novel or creative. It is, sadly, none of those things.

It is, instead, simply and only this: Necessary.

Facts are facts, and the fact is that the Big East Conference has for the past decade reigned supreme (if that’s the right term) as the very worst, very blandest and very weakest of the BCS conferences. Yes, I know the ACC is bad. But the Big East, on the whole, is significantly worse. It’s been worse almost from the start.

But, sadly for college football fans on the East Coast (where the game was born, it should be pointed out) the Big East is even worse than ever right now. Take a look at the BCS Top 25 these days, folks, and you will find exactly zero Big East teams there. That’s right, none. For comparison, there are two WAC schools ranked. That’s right, two. One of which is Nevada.

The problems faced the Big East—more specifically, the problems created by the Big East over the past three decades—are to multitudinous to list here, so in the interest of time, and in the interest of getting right to the point of this column, we’ll just cut right to the chase. That chase being this: The Big East is awful.

The Big East is barely hanging on.

The Big East is undeserving of its BCS automatic bid.

And so the Big East needs to do something—anything!—to save itself.

That’s why the league is going to expand to 10 teams.

But here’s the thing: Just expanding to ten teams isn’t going to solve anything. Which is why, if you’re a Big East football fan, you had better hope that the Big East powers that be read TCFA. Because I’m about to give them a blueprint on how to save their league. And their collective reputations.

***

The East Coast media is astoundingly clueless about college football—they spend most of their time talking about the NFL (snore) or the NBA (zzzzzzz …) or the Yankees (rrrr …)—and so it’s no surprise that so many of these pro-sports-obsessed dullards have so completely misinterpreted the Big East’s recent maneuvers as “bold” and “visionary” and “relevant.”

I mean, for context, let us remember that these guys actually think that Paul Tagliabue—the worst commissioner the NFL (snore) has ever had and one of the co-conspirators in the plot to destroy the City of Cleveland—is actually a key figure in the Big East’s efforts to ensure it long-term success. In case you’re in the dark here, you should know that Big East commissioner John Marinatto (a basketball guy, it should be noted) hired Tagliabue a few months back to help the league navigate the enduringly stormy waters in which it finds itself. It was a great PR move, at least on the East Coast, but overall, let’s face it: Tagliabue doesn’t know anything about college football. Not one thing. All he knows about is destroying cities and crushing the hearts of millions of innocent and passionate football fans in a city that actually understands football.

Which is why, we can assume, that the Big East’s rumored plans—plans that were, presumably, partially drawn up by Tagliabue—are so incredibly shortsighted, uninspiring and deluded.

To wit …

By all accounts, it appears that the Big East is looking at the following schools as expansion targets: TCU, Villanova, Temple, Houston, Memphis and Central Florida.

Collective yawn (minus TCU).

While I’ll admit that stealing the Horned Frogs away from the Mountain West would be (ignoring the travel issues for a moment) a significant and very un-Big-East-like coup—I mean, such a move would both allow the Big East to strengthen its own base and effectively destroy the MWC, its top rival among less-than-awesome conferences—every other school on that candidate would bring the league exactly (wait for it …) nothing.

Nothing. Nothing! Nothing.

Let us review.

Temple was already in the Big East. And, as you may recall, they got kicked out. Because nobody in Philadelphia cares about Temple football (or college football, for that matter).

Villanova, while attractive in a Notre-Dame-of-the-East-Coast kind of way, is small private school without a viable football stadium, located in a dicey-at-best recruiting market, that cares significantly more about hoops than just about anything else. Oh, and also, there is this: Nobody in Philadelphia cares about the Villaova football (or college football, for that matter).

Houston, while large and from Texas, is the Temple of, well, Houston—a commuter school with a nearly non-existent fan base that may well be the 10th most important football school in its own state. Baylor > Houston.

Memphis, while [insert something positive here about Memphis], is an NCAA compliance nightmare waiting to happen.

And UCF, while located in the Mythically Magical State of Florida, is a second- and/or third-tier program of the highest order.

So, in other words, no, just adding TCU and One Of Those Sub-Average Programs is not going to cut it. if the Big East does that—and just that—it will do nothing more than delay the inevitable. Specifically: Its demise.

Which, of course, leaves the following question: What can the league do to actually do more than just delay its demise?

Well, I’m going to tell you. Right now.

Hope you’re paying attention, John Marinatto.

You too, Paul Tagliabue. If you care. Which I assume you don’t.

***

My six-step plan for saving the Big East goes as follows:

1. Get Rid of Tagliabue: See above. He’s useless. He is a glorified PR stunt. But, yeah, I get it. He carries weight out East. So, Big East, if you wish—if you must keep the old guy around in order to, as they say, “keep up appearances”—then at least cast him aside … and then get Marinatto a real lieutenant. Newsflash, folks: As great as Emperor Jim Delany is, the fact is, he didn’t build the Big Ten into the Midwest Monster it is today all by his lonesome. Nope. The guy had help. Help in the form of Mark Silverman, who was lured to Chicago by hypnotic effect of Delany’s dark, mysterious eyes and charged with building the Big Ten Network into a powerhouse. Silverman succeeded. Thereby making every Big Ten member rich. And thereby making Delany look like a genius.

2. Invite TCU Immediately. But then … stop.: As I mentioned above, I do think the Horned Frogs would make a fine addition—a very find addition, in fact—and not just because they would immediately boost the Big East’s (awful) football profile. By adding the Froggies to their league while simultaneously removing the Frogs from the MWC, the Big East would deliver a crushing and potentially fatal blow to the one league that is most likely to “steal” the Big East’s automatic BCS bid. It’s a no-brainer move. It should happen immediately and be consummated with great haste. But after that? Well, Marinatto needs to put on the brakes—and think things through. To wit …

3. Leverage Hoops. And the Freaking East Coast: For all of the Big East’s obvious faults as a football conference, it does have a few things working in its favor. Or, at least, two things working in its favor. First, the league’s basketball profile is second to none; specifically it is an absolute hoops monster—the unquestioned top dog among the nation’s cager conferences. Second (and pay attention now, John) the league basically sits on top of four of the biggest television markets in the nation—New York, Philadelphia Washington and Boston (you might even throw in Chicago, thanks to Marquette, Depaul and Notre Dame hoops). In tandem, these two factors give the Big East enormous clout in the realm of television (aka, the realm of money). Big East football might not turn on televisions nationwide, but Big East hoops most certainly does. Which means the Big East needs to get aggressive (and creative) when it comes to its television deals. If and when football expansion comes along, they need to seize that as an opportunity to renegotiate their existing horrible deals and maximize their value. But how? Well, keep reading ...

4. Tap Into the Power of the Peacock: ESPN is a huge and unfortunately all-too-powerful player in college athletics, which means the big East needs an ESPN presence. But the fact is, The Worldwide Leader has relegated Big East football to the fringes—Thursday nights, Friday nights, Wednesday nights. Those are loser time slots. And they reinforce the league’s loser image. Which means that Marinatto needs to break away from ESPN and find some new partners. He needs to not only reach out to the MSG network (a New York-area powerhouse) and the Yes network (ditto), but also (wait for it …) the National Broadcasting Company. Yes, that’s right, folks: NBC. The once-proud peacock cannot be happy with its current (waste of a) deal with Notre Dame, and with its sports profile is sagging badly (Olympics? Ice skating?), I am betting execs over at 30 Rock would be open to scenario by which they both could air a college football double-header on Autumn Saturdays (“Big East Game of the Week” at noon, then Notre Dame at 3:30?) and retain some kind of Big East Basketball Game of the Week (maybe even a weekly night game?) on Winter Saturdays. It just makes sense. The Big East needs visibility. NBC needs a new sports identity. It’s a match made in heaven.

5. Make a Power Play for Boston College: The rumors are out there: Boston College is not happy in the ACC. The Eagles made the jump down south back a few years back mostly out of survival; they saw the Big East collapsing around them. It was either flee or die. So the Eagles fled. But the move has not been a roaring success. The Eagles have been a contender in ACC football, but never a champion, and have been middling at best in hoops. Beyond that, they are a completely illogical geographic fit and their travel costs have been enormous. The ACC television contracts are richer (right now) than the Big East’s, but if Marinatto can work some television magic (see above) and bump the Big East’s payout closer to that of the ACC (not impossible), the Eagles could easily be lured back. Especially if they could be assured by the BCS brass that the Big East’s BCS bid would be safe. ‘Cause you know what? A ten-team Big East featuring TCU, Boston College, Pitt, Syracuse, UConn, South Florida, Rutgers, Louisville, West Virginia and Cincinnati would not be bad. Not bad at all. But it could be better (see below).

6. Swing for the Fences. Then, If Necessary, For God’s Sake Just Advance the Runners: Here is the obligatory “invite Notre Dame” bit: Invite Notre Dame. I doubt the Irish will say yes, of course, but if they’re smart (questionable), they will at least consider it. ‘Cause the reality is (even if folks in South Bend refuse to admit it) Notre Dame is going to be the odd man out in the world of college football pretty soon. The conference shake-ups have tilted the balance of power fully in favor of the mega-conference, and unless Notre Dame hitches its wagon to somebody, they’re going to find themselves in a world of hurt before long (see: circa 2018). But if and when the Irish decline? Well, do the next-best thing: Bring in Army and Navy. Both programs have a long, proud history in the game, and if you hadn’t noticed, both are doing pretty well on the field this year, too. Navy is an established winner under TCFA favorite Ken Niumatalolo and Army can become the same under coach Rich Ellerson. Membership in a BCS conference would also provide those schools a recruiting lift, and provided the Defense Department steps in to relax some of those rules regarding graduates playing in the NFL (this has to happen), both Army and Navy could provide real football value to the league. They are geographic fits. They have worldwide followings. They have their own stadiums. They have history and tradition (lacking in the Big East, let’s be honest). They are sentimental favorites. They both play Notre Dame. And they would help solidify the Big East's position between the upper Northeast and lower Northeast.

So, there you have it: Six easy steps to saving college football in the East. Six easy steps to keeping the Big East safe. For years to come.

I’ve given you the blueprint, Commissioner Marinatto.

Now, follow it.

Or watch your league fail.

out and about: news and notes you may have missed

• In the three weeks that have passed since Minnesota fired coach Tim Brewster, long-suffering Gophers fans have tossed around a whole bunch of names as Brewster’s possible replacement (note to interim coach Jeff Horton: you’re not getting the job). Most of the names, of course, have been utterly ridiculous. First there was Tony Dungy, a Gopher alum, who despite his deep and abiding love for all things maroon-and-gold most assuredly does not have any interest in taking over a fourth-tier Big Ten program. Then there was Lou Holtz (yes, Lou Holtz), a former Gopher coach who despite his deep and abiding love for all things maroon-and-gold (?) also has no interest taking over a fourth-tier Big Ten program, even if it would mean not having to deal with Mark May anymore. Lou’s son Skip was mentioned. So was former Texas Tech coach Mike Leach. So was former Oregon coach Mike Bellotti. So clearly, Gophers fans were living in A Planet Located Somewhere South Of Reality. That is, until this week, at least, when we in College Football Nation finally heard a reputable rumor regarding that Gophers job. According to a report in the Knoxville News-Sentinel (one of the finest college football newspapers in America), Gophers officials will consider reaching out to former Tennessee coach Phil Fulmer, who won a whole bunch of games, led to his team to five SEC championship games and won one national with the Vols before being forced out after a 5-7 season in 2008. Fulmer is a Vol through and through. But believe it or not, he appears (mildly) interested in a return to coaching—maybe even with the Gophers. As he told the News-Sentinel this week: “Minnesota has great potential, and with its new facilities it’s a place you could recruit to. I believe it’s a place where you can compete.’’ Hmm.

• I feel obliged to comment in some way this week about Penn State Coach And Great If Occasionally Stubborn Man Joe Paterno’s “pursuit” of 400 career wins. So here goes: as you most certainly know by now, because I’ve written about and talked about it so extensively, My Beloved Penn State Nittany Lions stunned the world (well, me) by knocking off Michigan 41-31 last week. The win not only revived The Nits’ Previously Floundering Season, but also put Paterno just one win short of 400. Which means that if the Nits can get passed Northwestern this week (no sure thing folks), Paterno will become just the third college football coach, in any division, to win 400 games. The others are Grambling’s Eddie Robinson and the still-active John Gagliardi of St. John’s University in Minnesota. To some, this appears to be a big deal; I mean, ESPN U. even cooked up a half-hour special this week dedicated entirely to the subject. But you know what? I don’t think it’s really all that important. It’s just a number. A big number, yes. But just a number nonetheless. Not surprisingly, Paterno agrees with me (he and I often see to eye to eye, folks). Asked this week how he would feel about winning 400 games, Paterno said: “I don't get excited about 400. If it happens, [it's] because, geez, you hang around long enough. I really don't give it much thought."

quick hits: straight and to the point

• Auburn’s defense is ranked 57th in the nation. All due respect to Cam Newton and gang, but teams with 57th-ranked defenses do not win—or play for—national championships.

• After trying to contain (and failing to contain) Auburn quarterback Cam Newton last week, LSU linebacker Kelvin Shephard seems downright giddy about the prospect of facing a Newton-less Alabama team this week. "You can't even compare the two," Shephard said this week when asked to compare the 'Bama offense to the Auburn offense. "Totally different offense, just totally different personnel." What makes them so different? Said Shephard:  "Obviously we're not playing against a 6-6, 250-pound quarterback that can run away from everybody in the stadium." Good point.

• Oh, speaking of Cam Newton: Uh-oh! This is shocking. Oh wait it's not shocking.

• When it comes to the sad story of Rutgers defensive tackle Eric LeGrand, I think it’s safe to say that no news is bad news. There has been a dearth of information regarding LeGrand’s condition since Oct. 16, when he suffered a catastrophic neck injury while making a tackle against Army. Weeks have passed and there’s been no word that LeGrand has regained movement or feeling below his neck. This week, Rutgers announced that LeGrand was moved to the Kessler Institute for Rehabilitation, but again did not mention his progress (or lack thereof). In a statement, LeGrand’s mother said Eric was “in good spirits and anxious to take the next step in his rehabilitation process.” Again, if you wish to support the LeGrand family in their time of need, please visit their support page here.

• Despite its fantastic collapse last week against Iowa (a 37-6 beatdown that reminded Sparty fans everywhere that they remain forever and always Sparty) Michigan State still has a tremendous opportunity to put the bow on a tremendous 2010 season. If the Spartans win out—they play Purdue, Indiana and Penn State—they will almost certainly be a lock for a BCS bowl spot. But am I the only one wondering all of a sudden if this team is going to now completely and utterly blow this? The ‘sharps’ (well, at least one of them) is already targeting that Nov. 27 road trip to Penn State as a potential Sparty landmine, and call me crazy, I can see the Hoosiers hanging tough in the always brassy battle for the The Old Brass Spittoon. Mark Dantonio is about to earn his paycheck.

• Four Big Ten teams will battle it out over the next four weeks for the league title: Ohio State, Wisconsin, Iowa and Michigan State. I like Ohio State's chances. Here's why: In his career in Columbus, The Vest is 26-4 in November. Kirk Ferentz? 21-15.

• Up above I mentioned John Gagliardi, the St. John's University coach who is already in the 400-win club. Well, as good as 400 wins is, the fact is, Gagliardi is on the cusp of 500. That's right: The 84-year-old legend has 476 wins over the past 62 seasons. Asked this week about Paterno's pursuit of 400, Gagliardi said: "He is the gold standard for coaches. He has done it the right way, with good students who graduate."

• The coolest thing about Gagliardi? He does not allow players to tackle in practice. Because he assumes they already know how.

• College football brings joy. Politics brings misery.

• You know what else brings joy? The Champions League.

• Looking for picks? Click here.

• Looking for the increasingly popular TCFA Podcast, during which Mike and I this week sound sluggish and generally worn down by life? Click here.