Thoughts From The Valley: The. End.

The Hangover

HOW I AM FEELING: Not that awful, given The Generally Awful Circumstances. As you good folks know, we just enjoyed our last True College Football Saturday for the 2010 season. Very Sad Your Editor. At least the Browns are on TV here in Philly this week. Oh wait that's not helping [flips to Serie A on Fox Soccer Channel].

WHAT I AM DRINKING: Dogfish Head 90-Minute IPA. A dark day like this one calls for nothing short of a high-octane, too-expensive craft beer that will bury Your Editor's Sadness in a warm blanket of hoppiness. And Serie A.

WHAT I AM LISTENING TO: What else but the The Only Holiday Album That Matters, A Charlie Brown Christmas, by the Vince Guilardi Trio. Never gets old.

VILLA UPDATE: It's going to happen. God dammit it's going to happen. As you all know, and to your collective enduring frustration, Your Editor this past summer adopted the Aston Villa Football Club as his English Premier League club of choice. Since that fateful day, Villa has seen its celebrated manager resign (five days before the start of the season, by the way), lost its best player to The Rich Guys over at Manchester City, seen at least five other starters go down to serious injury, lost in Round One of the Europa League and, this past week, suffered the stinging indignity of a 2-1 defeat at the hands of the mouth-breathing neanderthals over at Birmingham City (oh, and there were riots after the match). And then there's this: Villa now sits 16th in the league. They are officially in a relegation battle. Birmingham has become Cleveland. My apologies, brummies.

MY THOUGHTS ON THE WEEKEND

I get it now. I mean, I really get it.

For years now, Your Editor has railed against The General Ridiculousness Of Oregon's Uniforms. And not just because those uniforms are ugly (which they are; feathers?). But also because they bear no resemblance—none whatsoever!—to, you know, Oregon's actual uniforms (which we haven't seen now for, it seems, a decade).

Take, for instance, the threads the Ducks wore in their 37-20 Civil War thrashing of Oregon State this past weekend (a win that sent them to the Mythical National Championship Game against Cam Newton, er ... Auburn; more on this in a bit). By Oregon standards, the things were actually fairly ... attractive. Yes, the feathers were there. But overall, they were somewhat less-than-visually offensive.

Just one problem: There was no green in the uniforms. Or yellow. And, seeing as those two colors are Oregon's freaking school colors, well, yes, I found the entire get-up to be somewhat ridiculous.

But do you know who didn't find the entire get-up to be somewhat ridiculous?

Answer: Young Jack.

And that, my friends, is the precisely the point.

With Princess Leah sound asleep upstairs (YEAH NAP TIME) and The Ever-Demanding Anna up in Boston with Mrs. Your Editor, Young Jack and I on Saturday afternoon were left to enjoy our last True College Football Saturday in relative peace. Which we did. There was just one small issue: Jack absolutely refused to watch anything except for Oregon-Oregon State. That little affair called the SEC Championship Game? Well, Jack wanted nothing to do with it. Even when the Oregon game went to halftime, with the SEC game still early in the second quarter, Your Editor was not allowed to switch the channel; Young Jack was that enamored by the Ducks.

Everything about them.

Their offense. Their wacky play cards. Their skill players--Darron Thomas, LaMichael James, Jeff Miehl. And yes, their uniforms.

In the span of one Saturday afternoon, Young Jack fell in love with the Ducks ... and their horribly offensive duds. He's even working on one of his now-classic college football books in his honor. The title of this one? "Oregon Ducks Are Playing for the National Championship." The first page features James, running for a touchdown, and the caption: "LaMichael James is smart and fast." If you look close, you will see that Young Jack drew feathers on the shoulder pads.

In the battle for my son's college football tastes, Nike won. Oregon won. The ugly uniforms won.

Everything I've ever taught the lad about true uniform-related beauty—the badass austerity of Penn State's road whites, for instance—has been thrown completely out the window.

The lesson? Simple: Those unis may be ugly to us. But to kids—to the next generation of college football fans—they are ... cool.

Trendy.

Or, in the words of Young Jack, "Awesome."

I have failed.

THREE YARDS AND A CLOUD OF DUST

THREE: Big Ten expansion is officially over. For now. On Sunday afternoon, The Greatest League In The World issued a statement saying that while "it will continue to monitor the intercollegiate landscape it will not be actively engaged in conference expansion for the foreseeable future and does not expect to be proactively seeking new members." Indiana president Michael McRobbie added that, given the recent addition of Nebraska (and let me say once more how completely awesome that is), the league presidents believe "the expansion process has reached its natural conclusion." So that's that. The Big East lives to see another decade of mediocrity.

TWO: I also wrote about this over at the other site, but it bears repeating: I am absolutely convinced that Auburn is going to blow the proverbial doors off Oregon in the Mythical National Championship Game. Oregon is fast, yes. Oregon is skilled, yes. But the Ducks simply do not have the bodies up front to compete with Auburn. Auburn by two touchdowns.

ONE: So it's gonna be My Beloved Penn State Nittany Lions vs. the Florida Gators in the Outback Bowl. Interesting matchup. And here's a fun fact: Florida's coach has retired one time. Penn State's coach has retired zero times. YEAH LONGEVITY.

TOUCHDOWN: A quick programming note: Now that the regular season has concluded, TCFA will revert to its regular offseason schedule. Which is to say, we won't be publishing every Friday and Monday, as we've been doing since late August. But don't fret, dear Friends Of TCFA. You'll be able to get your TCFA-related fix year round, as Co-Host Mike and I are committed to keeping the TCFA Podcast running through the full calendar year. We'll do weekly podcasts right on through the end of bowl season, then revert to a bi-weekly format for the rest of the year. Also, please feel free to read my work (also published year-round) over at About.com and follow me on Twitter @TimHyland. Thanks again for reading, everyone. I am so very thankful for your support.

OVERTIME: The TCFA Playoff Field has been set. In a sterling TCFA Champions Week performance, Michigan Bob Seif turned in a remarkable 6-0 record—good enough to earn him a bid direct to the TCFA Bowl on New Year's Day. Meanwhile, four other former champions—Mike Unger, Rick Santangelo, Rick McElheny and Dan Waters—finished 5-1 on the day, meaning they'll square off against our three 5-1 regular season finishers—Joe Borzyn (also a former champion), Dr. Tom Slattery and T.C. Hydock—in a winner-take-all playoff for the right to face The Great Michigan Bob for the 2010 TCFA Championship. The playoff format is to be determined (because we've got a lot of playoff contestants). Best of luck to all of them.

For more searing college football insight, please check out my work over at About.com, where you can read my weekly Power Rankings, ponder the About.com Heisman Trophy Watch, get darn-near daily blog updates and more.