Thoughts From The Valley

The Hangover

How I am feeling: How do you think I feel? I feel freaking fantastic. Because of this: Penn State 31, Notre Dame 10. Yes, Your Editor gives Notre Dame a hard time here at TCFA. Yes, I believe the Irish are unfairly hyped (see: Charlie Weis). Yes, I believe they go to bowl games they don't deserve to go to (see: entire history of college football). But you know what? A win over Notre Dame still has great PR value. There is nothing quite like beating the Irish. It reminds you of how glorious and wonderful the world really is.

What I am drinking: Victory Golden Monkey Belgian Ale. This, my friends, is a special occasion beer. Tipping the scales at a whopping 9 percent ABV, it is to be enjoyed in moderation. At home. To celebrate momentus, life-changing events — births, weddings, Derrick Williams 80-yard punt returns, etc. A true Belgian extreme beer, Golden Monkey has a very forward alcohol taste. Hints of clove and banana, too. Remember: Drink in moderation.

What I am listening to: Freedy Johnston, This Perfect World: See, the world is perfect today. Because Penn State just beat Notre Dame on national television. So what better album to welcome the new week than one titled This Perfect World? My one-sentence review: This 1999 release is moody and beautiful, kind of like my baby girl Anna, who as I type this is busy refusing to take her afternoon nap, much to the consternation of Your Editor and Mrs. Your Editor. It features "Bad Reputation," the should-have-been-a-hit that plays as the credits roll in one of Your Editor's All-Time Favorite Films, Kicking & Screaming (no, not the one starring Will Ferrell).

My thoughts on the weekend: The story of the year continues to be the Michigan Wolverines.

For all the wrong reasons.

I watched Michigan yesterday. They were horrible.

How horrible?

This horrible: I felt sorry for them.

Yes. I felt sorry for the Michigan Wolverines--the team that has tortured me more than any other. The team has ruined more autumn Saturdays than any far-ranging hurricane ever could. The team that, basically, owns Penn State.

Michigan. Yes, I felt bad for Michigan!

And I'm not alone.

Sometime during Oregon's 39-7 stomping of Big Blue on Saturday--a game far more embarrassing than the loss to Appy State, by the way--I called my sister Colleen, a noted Michigan-hater, who was enjoying the day's action at a Cleveland-area watering hole. And though at first she gleefully noted that "the looks on those Michigan fans' faces are classic," I could kind of tell that she felt bad for those folks. Maybe just a bit. Even though she'll never admit it.

See, folks, my sister and I, we've been there. All Penn State fans have. We lived through the loss to Toledo in 2000. We suffered through those losing seasons--the four worst seasons in the 100-plus years of Penn State football--and wondered, "Why us? Why now? Why not in 1923?"

Thankfully, those dark days in Happy Valley appear to be over.

It remains to be seen, however, how long the duldrums will last in Ann Arbor. And for my readers who happen to be Michigan fans--hi, Michigan Bob--about the only good news I can offer is this: Your next opponent is very beatable.

Because your next opponent is Notre Dame.

Three Yards and a Cloud of Dust

Three ...: At the start of the 2007 season, it was generally accepted that there were five teams in the nation that were head-and-shoulders worse than everyone else. Those teams? Buffalo, Temple, Army, Florida International and Duke. Well, Buffalo just beat Temple 42-7. Yes, 42-7. My God. How bad must Temple be? How bad would they lose to Appy State?

Two ...: This does not appear to be a good year for the Big Ten. Your Editor recently became a Direct TV subscriber, a move motivated by my illogical need to see every single second of every single Penn State game of every season (and as you know, Direct TV is basically the only way to get the Big Ten Network these days). Regardless of this TV-service changing hassle, a nice side benefit of getting the Big Ten Network on Direct TV is that you don't just get one game at a time. No, you get all of them. So yesterday, I was able to watch Ohio State-Akron, Northwestern-Nevada and Michigan State-Bowling Green simultaneously. Jealous? Don't be. It was brutal. MSU and Northwestern are horrible. And Ohio State's 20-2 win over Akron wasn't exactly the stuff of legend. Add in Wisconsin's near-loss against UNLV and Michigan's ongoing meltdown, and it's becoming abundantly clear that Penn State may well be The Team to Beat in the Big Ten. The only problem? As was so wisely pointed out by Your Editor's Father, the Nittany Lions could, conceivably, run the table--and then, for the fifth time in Joe Paterno's career, be blocked out of a national championship game, simply because the Big Ten is so awful. And if this were to happen, who would we blame? Big Ten Network President Mark Silverman.

One ...: I don't care what happens in Washington, D.C. In either politics or football. What I do care about is college football. And what I do know is that Head Ball Coach is a heck of a Head Ball Coach. OK, so he couldn't win in the NFC East (kill me with a bullet of boredom). But you know what? He just led South Carolina to a win over the Georgia Bulldogs. Yes, Head Ball Coach just beat the Dawgs. Again. This could well be the year that Head Ball Coach returns to the SEC Championship Game. And wins it.

Touchdown ...:I have to give ESPN Gameday analyst Lee Corso credit on this: While his colleagues were busy talking about all that Michigan did wrong in their blowout loss to Oregon, Corso was the only one to point out everything that the Ducks did right. We don't know yet how good or bad Michigan will prove to be (as a Penn State fan, I fully expect Big Blue to beat the Nits in two weeks--it's almost a slam dunk), but I don't think anyone could have watched that Ducks team and not come away very, very impressed. The fact is, the PAC-10 might well be the best conference in the nation this year (no, SEC fans, I didn't miss that Auburn loss to South Florida, sorry), and when all is said and done, we might not see many teams in any conference better than Oregon, Cal and USC. And you know what? Oregon may be the best of the bunch. All due respect to West Virginia's Pat White, but I haven't seen a better quarterback this season than Oregon's Dennis Dixon. And all due respect to USC, Oregon looked like a much more complete team on Saturday than the Trojans have thus far this season. So yes, mark this down: Your Editor officially picks Oregon to the win the PAC-10.