Oct 19, 2007

The weather forecast for The Beautiful Wissahickon Valley on Saturday is as follows: 70 degrees. Sunny.

In other words, a perfect autumn day.

Perfect, that is, for sitting inside almost the entire day and watching college football from 12 noon (well, 10 a.m., if you count ESPN College Gameday) until midnight.

While eating finely grilled foods. And drinking craft beers. And what not.

This weekend, TCFA Headquarters hosts a somewhat toned down version of its Annual TCFA Clambake, Autumnal Festival and Celebration of America's Greatest Game.

In past years, the event has drawn visitors from as far afiield as, well, Cleveland, and attendance once peaked in the double-digits (10). This year, things are a bit different. One, there will be no clams, because I can't find a clam pot. Two, only three people are coming. To be fair, I only invited five. So that's not bad.

But no matter. The spirit of the event remains the same: Eat, drink, be merry, watch football (and Game 6 of the ALCS).

The highlight of the day? Well, it's obvious, isn't it? The highlight of the day will be, of course, the game the entire nation has been waiting for: Penn State at Indiana. Former TCFA Champion (and Hoosier alum) Mike Unger is so excited for this showdown that he specifically planned this trip nearly a month in advance. It's a huge game, folks. At least for folks in Happy Valley and Bloomington it is.

Which I guess is kind of the point.

See, good college football fans can make an event out of anything.

Yes, the Ohio State-Michigan / Auburn-Alabama / Cal-Stanford / Havard-Yale games are great. They're also obvious.

On the other hand, it takes great passion, not to mention mildly fanatical skill, to turn Penn State-Indiana into a full-on weekend event. But that's what we're doing this weekend, folks. Come Saturday, The Beautiful Wissahickon Valley will be Ground Zero of Penn State-Indina Hoopla. Attendance: Three.

Buckeyes and Wolverines, you can have your "Game." Give me Hoosiers-Nits any day.

And then see what I can do with it.

Out And About: News And Notes You May Have Missed

• Apparently Mike Hart has a new spokesman: His mommy. With folks in Ann Arbor offering little to no information about the health of the Michigan tailback this week—Hart left the Wolverines’ game last weekend against Purdue with an undetermined leg injury—the press up in Michigan turned to Hart’s mom, Rory Rushlow (great name), for answers. And remarkably, she seemed to know more than coach Lloyd “Remember When I Was On The Hot Seat? Well, So Much For That” Carr. But it still wasn’t much. “I just left Ann Arbor yesterday, and he says he's fine and if he's even 80 percent healthy he'll play,” Mike’s Mommy said. "Hopefully, he'll play. But he if doesn't, I'm sure he'll play the next game against Minnesota." And while Carr has been mostly noncommittal (and grumpy) about his tailback's status, Hart’s teammates, at least, seem somewhat confident. Said offensive tackle Jake Long: "There's no doubt in my mind he'll play." Which is a good thing, considering Hart accounts for roughly 98 percent of the team’s offense.

• The Most Uncomfortable Man In America Award goes to Nebraska coach Bill Callahan, who this week found out that the man who hired him—Nebraska athletic director Steve Pederson—had been fired and, even worse, would be replaced by none other than former Nebraska coach (and living legend) Tom Osburne. Gulp. The move to fire Pederson came after Nebraska suffered back-to-back blowout losses to Missouri (ugh) and Oklahoma State (ugh), the latter loss being the worst home defeat for Nebrakska in more than 50 years. So it’s all but assumed that Callahan—who many Husker fans didn’t want hired in the first place, and wasn't even Pederson's first (or second) choice for the job, and used to coach in the NFL (snore)—is living on borrowed time. Of course, nobody is saying that. Obsorne met with Callahan earlier this week (but didn’t fire him), and was even invited to attend practice the next day.  So when he was asked whether he was nervous about Osborne "looking over this shoulder," Callahan, of course, played it off. Said The Man Who Is Going To Be Fired Very Soon: “No, I’m not nervous. I coached in the Super Bowl. I’ve kind of been around the block a little bit.” I think it’s funny that Callahan thinks anyone in Nebraska cares about the Super Bowl (snore).

• To hear Kentucky coach Rich Brooks tell it, as recently as last season Andre’ Woodson hadn’t even nailed down the starting quarterback job in Lexington. Which is remarkable, considering that, based mostly on the play of Woodson, the Wildcats today find themselves ranked No. 7 in the country, are coming off a stunning upset of then-No. 1 LSU, and are preparing to take on the No. 15 Florida Gators in a game they might actually win. The reason, of course, is Woodson, who carried the Wildcats to an impressive bowl-winning campaign in 2006 and, so for in 2007, has posted flat-out incredible numbers: 1,800 passing yards, 21 touchdowns, just four interceptions and an efficiency rating of nearly 150.0. He’s so good, in fact, that he willed the Wildcats to victory last week even though they were without their first- and second-string tailbacks. Brooks says the fact that Woodson is doing so much, all on his own, is the main reason why the quarterback deserves the Suzuki Heisman Trophy (we agree, by the way). Said Brooks: “He belongs in that conversation more than some of the other people because he’s doing more at a place that is tradition-starved for that kind of success that he’s having. He has to do more than most of the people that are surrounded by players and teams that have been successful each year, and that have people in that discussion every year." While that’s a nice thing for Brooks to say, doesn’t it seem a bit odd? I mean, Brooks is basically saying, “Thank God for Andre’, because the rest of my players suck.”

Quick Hits: Straight And To The Point

• It's been a rough year for Pitt coach Dave Wannstedt. How rough? Well, the Panthers are 2-4. The defense is terrible. The fans (all 11) are getting restless. And this week, the Great Wannstache suffered a serious injury--he tore his ACL “while walking.” While walking? The coach had to undergo surgery and will issue his brilliant strategic decisions this week from the coaches' box. No word on whether his mustache was damaged in the incident.

• As we predicted on Sunday, Notre Dame Quarterback And Savior Jimmy Clausen has been benched for this week’s game against USC (snore). And why not? The Freshman Savior has completed just 57 percent of his passes, with one touchdown and four interceptions, and is averaging just 4.4 yards per pass. 4.4 yards per pass! Said Charlie “ESPN Hasn’t Called Me A Genius Since Before That Bowl Game Last Year” Weis:  “Jimmy can play, but I don't think he can play as good as Evan Sharpley, and that's why Evan is going to start at quarterback." I agree with ESPN: The man is a genius.

• Stat of the Week: Between 1908 and 2007, the Indiana Hoosiers won 367 games. Between 1966 and 2007, Joe Paterno won 368.

• Quotable: Indiana quarterback Kellen Lewis on his impressions of Penn State’s defense: "I would say it like this—take Michigan State's intensity and maybe double it. Their linebackers are all over the field. They always try to get all 11 hats to the ball. They just play with a high level of intensity, and they always play like they know that they are better than you up front, they're better than you at linebacker, they're better than you at corner." Kellen Lewis is officially the second Hoosier to move above Mike Unger in the TCFA Top 50 this year, joining former IU coach Gerry DiNardo.

• Quotable but confusing: Florida defensive assistant coach Chuck “Give ‘Em The” Heater was asked this week why Kentucky is playing so well. He answered thusly: “It’s a salty team now. It’s a salty group of guys. You better bring your lunch box if you’re going to get ’em.” I am totally befuddled.

• OK, folks, you’ll be happy to know that the Yankees and Joe Torre are STILL negotiating (we think) an agreement on a potential contract extension, though Torre apparently is playing hard to get. We know you’ve all been worried about that. Oh wait, nobody cares. Except ESPN.