Oct 24, 2008

The folks at Verizon Wireless do quite well by Your Editor, folks.

The reason? I am a text-message junkie.

I don’t call people much. But I do text them. I text them a lot. And this is especially true on college football Saturdays, when I send and receive more texts in a single day than many plans allow for an entire month.

It’s a problem, yes. And I am working it. Seeking text therapy, perhaps.

That being said, there is some value in these texts. Which is this: When saved, they can help us relive history.

In that spirit, what follows are some of the text-message highlights of last Saturday’s college football action—the ups and downs, the ebbs and flows, and the embarrassing things people (including Your Editor) write when their teams are not playing well.

Enjoy:

Message received from former TCFA Champion Kris McBride, driving to Happy Valley with TCFA Supporter Nick Cerimele, 6:02 a.m.: “Happy Penn State Saturday. We’re on the road."

Message from Your Editor for Kris, 7:50 a.m.: “I am jealous. Nits will win 51-10”

Message sent by Your Editor to my siblings, friends and fellow college football fans, 8:50 a.m.: “Happy college football Saturday! Please dear God may the Nits win.”

Message sent by Your Editor to Your Editor’s Sister, attending a morning concert by boyfriend Matt before heading to the bar to watch Penn State-Michgian, 10:11 a.m.: “You’re drinking already aren’t you?”

Message from Colleen to Your Editor, 10:14 a.m.: “Yes.”

Message from Your Editor to two-time TCFA Champion Mike Unger and Brian Schleter, watching the day’s action at NcDevin’s Tavern in East Baltimore, 3:01 p.m.: “Some really boring noon games today.”

Message from Brian to Your Editor, just after his beloved Georgia Bulldogs missed a field goal that could have put the game away, 3:32 p.m.: “Un f** believable.”

Message from Brian to Your Editor, 3:35 p.m.: "I am dying."

Message from Your Editor to Mike and Brian, 3:53 p.m., after Terrelle Pryor’s first touchdown of the day: “Terrelle Pryor can’t throw but he is the best running quarterback since Michael Vick.”

Message from Mike to Your Editor, 3:56 p.m.: “Pryor is Vince Young-esque.”

Message from Your Editor to Mike, 3:57 p.m.: “Yes, he’s ridiculous.”

Message from Your Editor to Your Editor’s Cousin, Ohio State fan Scott Walters, as the Buckeyes blow the doors off Michigan State, 4:14 p.m.: “Same old Sparty.”

Message from Scott Walters to Your Editor, 4:18 p.m.: "Next week should be interesting."

[Note: Penn State-Michigan game begins; more accurately, it begins badly]

Message from Your Editor to Mike and Brian, just after Penn State center A.Q. Shipley sent the game’s first snap sailing over quarterback Daryll Clark’s head, 4:33 p.m.: “We are going to lose.”

Message from Your Editor to Mike and Brian, just after Michigan scored their first touchdown, 4:44 p.m.: “Did I tell you???”

Message from Your Editor to Mike and Brian, 4:46 p.m.: “Nine losses in a row going on 10. I can’t believe it.”

Message from Your Editor to Mike, 4:53 p.m.: “I literally have no confidence we can win.”

Message from Mike to Your Editor, 4:54 p.m.: “It’s early.”

Message from Your Editor to Mike, 4:55 p.m.: “It’s over.”

Message from Your Editor to Kris and Nick, 5:17 p.m.: “There is no chance we win. Go home.”

Message from Kris, 5:29 p.m.: “You’re crazy. We will win 42-20.”

Message from Your Editor to Kris, 5:31 p.m.: “The game is over. We already lost.”

Message from Your Editor's Sister to Your Editor, 5:32 p.m.: “I want to cry.”

[Mysterious large gap in texts here—not sure what happened—though it should be said that Penn State went from a 17-7 deficit to a 29-17 lead, which led to a change in attitude for Your Editor]

Message from Your Editor to Kris and Nick, Mike and Brian, and Your Editor's Siblings 7:52 p.m.: “I think we run the table now.”

Out And About: News And Notes You May Have Missed

• There are some great rivalries in college football, but it’s pretty safe to say that it is the cross-state rivalries that are most bitter. Auburn-Alabama. Texas-Texas A&M. Washington-Washington State. Pitt-Penn State (can we please renew this series, folks?). And then there’s Michigan State-Michigan, an always-heated matchup that has grown only more so since Mark Dantonio arrived in East Lansing a couple years back. Dantonio has done more than simply embrace this rivalry. He’s spiced it up. After Michigan tailback Mike Hart last year derisively referred to Michigan State as Michigan’s “little brother,” Dantonio mocked Hart’s short stature, saying: “Does Hart have a little brother, or is he the little brother?” He also made clear he intends to beat Michigan on a regular basis, announcing after last year’s heartbreaking loss to the Wolverines: “If they want to mock us, I’m telling them, it’s not over. It will never be over here. It’s just starting.” Which brings us, of course, to this week, when Dantonio has a chance (and a good chance) to back up his boasts with action. The 6-2 Spartans have a great opportunity to beat a struggling 2-5 Michigan team, and they better do it, too. Because as bad as Michigan is this year, it’s hard to imagine Rich Rodriguez not building a winner in Ann Arbor. As the saying goes, Dantonio has to (cliché on the way) "strike while the iron is hot." And by this, of course, I am talking about recruiting. The Michigan high school prospects are there for the taking right now, and Sparty is cleaning up in Michigan, but if Dantonio wants to build a program for the long term there in East Lansing, the only way to do it is beat Michigan, and beat them regularly. Can he do it? We shall see. But I have a feeling—in fact, let’s call it a strong hunch—that Michigan is going to win this one.

• Your Editor has this season rather plainly made his feelings known about both the Auburn Tigers (incredibly overrated) and their coach, the snake-like Tommy Tuberville, who disgracefully fired his offensive coordinator, Tony Franklin, exactly one day after telling both his team and the media that Franklin had his full support. Fact is, Tuberville threw Franklin under the bus to save his own job. And that is just unacceptable. But here’s the bad news for “Looking Out For Myself And Too Bad For Everyone Else” Tommy: Firing Franklin may not actually do the trick. Because it seems there is more than a middling effort underway to get Tuberville out of Auburn. It's an effort built on rumor—rumors that Tuberville is not well, that he's lost the team, that he's trying to negotiate a buyout package. In fact, so strong were rumors this week that the coach had suffered a stroke—yes, folks in Alabama believed the man was doing a bad job, not beause he doesn't have enough good players, but rather because he had suffered a stroke—that Tuberville had to actually publicly deny them. This is football in the South, folks. Said Tuberville: “One thing I want to talk about, and I don't talk about rumors that much, is that there has been a lot of things said in the papers or magazines. I get people that e-mail me [the rumors]. I just want to let everybody know that everything is going well. I did not have a stroke. I am completely healthy. As a matter of fact about three months ago I had a full physical. I'm not tired of coaching. I'm as fired up as ever.” He’s so fired up, in fact, that he fired a man without justification. Nice job, coach.

Quick Hits: Straight And To The Point

• As I mentioned in Monday's edition, folks, Your Editor has been listening since last week to WXPN-FM's countdown of the 885 Essential Songs countdown. Well, the countdown ended Thursday. And the No. 1 song on the list? Richard Thompson's "1952 Vincent Black Lightning." That, folks, is why WXPN is one of the greates radio stations in our great nation.

• Speaking of greatness, have you Big Ten Network viewers out there taken note of reporter Melanie Collins? Wow.

• One more note about Auburn’s snake-like Tommy Tuberville. Besides the rumor that the coach had a stroke (not true, apparently), there was also a rumor that he had lost his love for recruiting. Tuberville addressed these as well. Said The Snake: "I don't like recruiting anymore? Well, I went 2,500 miles last Thursday and Friday. And I covered a lot of high schools and talked to a lot of coaches and I love every minute of it.” Here’s a newsflash, folks: There is not a coach in America who “loves” recruiting. It’s the most demeaning part of the job. There’s nothing to “love” about it. Saying you “love” recruiting is like saying you “love” paying taxes or listening to commercial radio. Shudder.

• No coach in college football is more adept at whining about the BCS than Pete Carroll, who may be able to win “the big ones” (see: Rose Bowls) but certainly has not shown himself capable of wining “the little ones” (see: Oregon State 2008, Stanford 2007). This week, Carroll began his 2008 Campaign of Complaining, noting to reporters that while his Trojans were currently ranked No. 10 in the BCS computer formula, Ohio State—which got clobbered by USC back in September—was No. 5 in the same rankings. To which Carroll facetiously asked: "How does that happen? Nice system." Well, here’s how it happens, genius: You lose to Oregon State.

• Much was made in some quarters of Pennsylvania this week about Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor’s comments about Penn State and his home state following his team’s win last week at Michigan State. Said Pryor: “I’m in Ohio now. Jeannette is still my hometown, but this is where I’m at. I’m not at Penn State, I’m not in Pennsylvania. I’m not here to make Penn State happy. I’m here to make Ohio State happy.” To those who were upset about these comments, let me ask you: What the hell do you expect him to say? He plays for Ohio State.

• Speaking of Pryor, Penn State coach and Great Man Joe Paterno was asked this week to assess his former recruit’s progress. And Paterno, to his credit, was gracious in answering the question. Said Paterno: “I think he’s got everything to be a great player. He’s a good kid, he’s got a lot of poise, he handles pressure. And that’s not only on the field but off the field.”

• As the Columbus Dispatch smartly pointed out this week, the biggest loser in Ohio State coach Jim Tressel’s decision to bench senior Todd Boeckman in favor of freshman Terrelle Pryor was not Boeckman. Rather, the biggest losers were receivers Brian Hartline and Brian Robiskie, who have seen their opportunities drop dramatically since Pryor has taken over. According to the Dispatch, the percentage of run plays to pass plays when Boeckman was quarterback was 57 to 43. With Pryor under center, it’s … 72 to 28. Hey Tom Bradley—if I were you, I’d run a 4-4-3 and let the chips fall were they may.

• And how are Hartline and Robiskie handling the change? Well, see for yourself. Asked this week about the offense’s sudden check, Hartline said: “It is kind of frustrating—we're older guys, and it's like you want this now, but it brought us back down to square one." Hmm.

• Colt McCoy is quickly becoming one of Your Editor’s favorite players and is well on his way to earning induction into the TCFA Hall of Fame. In fact, he may have cemented that honor this week, when he told the Sporting News that, despite his remarkable 2008 season, he fully intends to return for his senior season in 2009. Said McCoy: "I'm going to play here for four years. I've been blessed to be able to play here. Not very many people get to (start) here for four years, so what an opportunity." Kudos to McCoy. Here’s a kid who gets it: That the NFL will never be as fun, or as important, as college football.

• By the way, folks, it is worth noting that McCoy is currently completing 81.2 percent of his passes. Yes, 81.2! In case you’re wondering, the all-time season record for completion percentage is held by Eric Sanders of Northern Iowa. He completed 75.2 percent of his passes. And do you know when he did that? Last season. Interesting.