Aug 28, 2009

For every college town, for every state, for every school, and for every fan, there is a moment.

A moment that defines a game. A season. A program.

They are college football moments—the moments that make this game worth watching; the moments that shape the history of America's greatest sport.

You know most of these moments, folks. They are well-documented.

For Cal fans, there is The Play.

For Boston College fans, there is The Hail Mary.

For LSU fans, there is The Bluegrass Miracle.

In Oklahoma, they still talk about Roy Williams’ Superman impersonation in ‘02. In State College, they remember with glee Chafie Fields’ 78-yard stunner again Miami in ’99. Georgia fans, of course, have Run Lindsay Run from back in ‘80. Syracuse alums have Donovan McNabb’s last-second miracle in ‘98.

At Nebraska, the memorable punt return was turned in by Johnnie Rogers. At LSU, it was Billy Cannon. At Michigan, it was Desmond Howard.

Iowa State fans haven’t had much to cheer about over the years, but they’ll always have Seneca Wallace’s amazing scramble. Appalachian State fans? Well, there was that blocked field goal up in Ann Arbor. You may remember that one. Meanwhile, over in East Lansing, Michigan State fans will always adore the timekeeper who gave Jeff Smoker one last chance at the end zone in ’01. Hell, I adore him, too.

And who could forget—pre-emptive answer: nobody—the defining moment of last season? Michael Crabtree has already gone a long way to destroying his reputation in the NFL (snore), but I promise you this much: There isn't a soul in Lubbock who will ever stop loving Crabtree for that touchdown catch against the Longhorns back in November of '08.

It was stunning. Incredible. Impossible.

A miracle, really.

An absolute miracle.

Because in an instant—in the blink of an eye—Crabtree had not only won a game for Texas Tech. He had delivered the moment of Texas Tech football—the play by which the program will likely forever be defined. Yeah, it was that good.

That big. That historic.

And a whole lot of fun, too. I mean, imagine the parties that night out there in West Texas.

But here’s the thing, folks. We are guaranteed to see a play like that sometime soon.

Because college football season is almost here. And with each college football season, there comes a moment. Several of them, in fact.

So strap yourselves in. Prepare for the unexpected. Prepare for a miracle.

Prepare for ... the moment.

 

Out And About: News And Notes You May Have Missed

• The magazine Inside Higher Ed ran a very interesting interview this week with Kurt Edward Kepmer, a professor at North Dakota State and author of "College Football and American Culture in the Cold War Era," a scholarly examination of the rise of college football. The magazine asked Kepmer whether he thought there was any real desire out there to create a “college football playoff” (snore). His response was, well, thoughtful, if somewhat chilling. Said Kepmer: “This desire to acquire a consensus national champion is itself an expression of American capitalist culture. If we’re going to say that college football means so much, if we’re going to invest so many Saturdays, if ABC is going to throw out however many hundreds of millions of dollars at it, if we’re going turn New Year’s Day into a national holiday -- everything we do tells us that college football matters in American culture. If we’re going to say that this is some expression of American culture, it seems almost impossible to avoid the ultimate crowning of a consensus national champion, because in a capitalist society, we’re all about identifying winners. … I do think one of the things we can draw out of this is the understanding that football is not some distraction that exists in the ether, unmoored if you will from other aspects of American culture, but that it’s firmly entrenched in American culture. As a result, the argument over things like a playoff has to take into account cultural values, including an inherent almost lethal competitiveness in American society.” I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: No playoff. I’m about as excited about the prospect of a college football playoff as I am excited about drinking canned beer at tailgates (for more canned beer news, see next page).

• By now you have likely heard about Indiana’s absolutely ridiculous decision to move its 2010 “home” game against Penn State to … Washington, D.C. (that’s a 650-mile trip for the Hoosiers; 200 for the Nits). It’s a horrible football decision, but a good financial one: Indiana will make $3 million from the game. And the school will get all of that money up front. Explained IU Athletic Director Fred Glass: "We're a PT boat in a conference dominated by aircraft carriers. Michigan, Ohio State and Penn State will each make more money in one home football game than I'll make in my entire six-game home season. Candidly, I think it's incumbent upon me to be creative and look for reasonable ways to close that revenue gap.” Glass says he understands that the D.C. game—to be played at Daniel Snyder’s Palace of Sin (FedEx Field) in Landover, home to the Redskins (snore)—will be a de facto Penn State home game, and he’s comfortable with that. But others in the league aren’t so happy about it. Why? Simple: With this arrangement, the 2010 Nits will play only four true road games. Four!

• For some reason I like Alabama. The school has always seemed to me to be the Penn State of the South—a ray of light amid the general dimness (take that literally if you wish) of the SEC. Yet I must admit: ‘Bama does seem to get themselves in an awful lot of trouble. Regularly. Probation just seems to be the cost of doing business down in Tuscaloosa, and hey, it’s the SEC, so that’s probably the case. But this summer has been especially busy. First there was the much-ballyhooed resolution of the textbook scandal (result: “vacated wins;” translation: “The NCAA is scared of Nick Saban”). Now comes word that ‘Bama is conducting an investigation into a “fishing trip.” That just reads ominously, doesn’t it? Well, here’s the deal: ‘Bama players Julio Jones and Mark Ingram earlier this year accepted an invitation from a creepy and weird 56-year-old Athens, Ga., man to go "fishing." Sad. Lonely. Odd. And according to Alabama (or likely more accurately, according to the NCAA) this fishing trip is reason for real concern—not to mention cause for an investigation. Because let’s face it, it’s very likely that this 56-year-old man is shady (“Hey guys, I am old and weird, i.e., I am a struggling agent wishing to represent you in two years. Want to come fishing?”) Asked about said investigation this week, ‘Bama coach Nick Saban said: “I think the institution has shown great integrity in the way they've handled the situation.” Saban is awesome.

 

Quick Hits: Straight And To The Point

• Saw this quote this week and it made me laugh: “We feel that if anybody wants to win the Big East, they have to get through Cincinnati.” – Cincinnati safety Aaron Webster. Yeah!

• For some reason, this makes me angry: ESPN has announced plans to host four 3-D showings of the Sept. 12 Ohio State-USC game. Yes, you read that correctly: 3-D. The theater-style showings will take place in in Columbus, Los Angeles (snore), Hartford (?) and Hurst, Texas (?!).

• Here’s something of note, folks: The Ivy League, which has not allowed its teams to participate in any postseason since the Dark Ages, has a new executive director. And he’s interested in getting his league into the Football Championship Subdivision playoffs. This is good.

• Penn State is a fine institution. Heck, it’s Your Editor’s Alma Mater, after all. But this does not mean Penn State is above making the occasional error. And err did the Nittany Lion administration this week, when they announced that glass bottles would no longer be permitted in the grass tailgating lots surrounding Beaver Stadium. The school says the decision was made out of safety concerns. And maybe it was. But here’s the problem: Canned beer sucks. And I won’t drink it. So I’m going to continue bringing bottles to my tailgate, and if they want to arrest me over that, well, I’ll take the damned case all the way to the Supreme Court.

• OK, actually, I won't, because I am afraid of conflict. So if a cop approaches me about this issue (highly unlikely), I will resort to Plan B: Sly Fox Brewing Co. Pikeland Pils, the only decent craft beer I know of that comes in a can. All due respect to Dale's Pale Ale.

• That being said, Penn State officials should realize that their decision just cost Pennsylvania craft brewers a ton of money. But I’m sure the folks who make Miller Lite (snore; vomit) are happy.

• One more note about beer: Anheuser-Busch InBev, the Belgian-based firm that last year scooped up Anheuser-Busch (for reasons heretofore left unexplained), is now producing cans of Bud Light decorated in the school colors of several top college football programs. And wouldn’t you know it? The cans debuted just in time for football season! This did not make several of the targeted schools happy, however, nor did it please the folks at the Federal Trade Commission, who have warned A-B InBev that it should not plan on continuing the campaign in the future. I agree that the campaign should be stopped. Not because of concerns out of underage drinking. But rather because Bud Light is a terrible beer, and nobody should ever drink it.

• Washington State was terrible last season. Easily one of the worst three programs in the country, and possibly the very worst of all (and yes, when I say this I am taking into account the Cougs' win over equally awful Washington in the Worst Apple Cup Game Ever). So you might expect that maybe second-year coach Paul Wulff might make some gains in 2009—that we might start to see the dividends of “The Wulff Way” (this doesn’t actually exist; I just made it up). Well, I’m not hopeful. According to a report out of the Spokane Spokesman-Review this week, the Cougars were so awful during a Tuesday scrimmage that Wulff shut down the scrimmage five plays early, made his entire team run endless windsprints, and, when attempting to address reporters afterward, was left “speechless” by the utter and complete incompetence of his players. He offered only this: “It’s uncharacteristic of how we practice and there are no excuses for it.” Hey, coach, give the boys a break. It’s not easy adjusting to "The Wulff Way."

 

Prognostications: In Which Your Editor Reveals the Future

1. Ole Miss is ridiculously overrated and will lose four games this year. But the good news for Rebs fans is that Ole Miss girls will still look stunningly beautiful while wearing sundresses and tailgating at The Grove.

2. Prepare yourself, Big Ten fans. Penn State and Ohio State will struggle in their Week 1 matchups. The Nits play Akron; the Buckeyes take on Navy. Why won’t these games be the blowouts everyone is expecting? Well, here’s why: Akron has the best passing game in the MAC and Penn State’s one glaring weakness is the secondary. As for Ohio State? I say only this: Three new starting linebackers of questionable ability vs. the Navy triple option. Penn State 27, Akron 23; Ohio State 24, Navy 21.

3. Colt McCoy, who is Mrs. Your Editor's Favorite Non-Penn State Player, will win the Suzuki Heisman Trophy. The folks who engineered Tom Osborne’s 1994 Lifetime Achievement Award will make sure of that.

4. ESPN will spend at least half of all its college football airtime this season talking about the SEC. It will not report any negative news about the conference. It will state repeatedly that people in SEC country “care” more than people elsewhere and that players at SEC schools run faster than players at other schools. Coverage of the SEC this fall will rival the network's obnoxious coverage of Yankees-Red Sox, a.k.a The Rivalry That Does Not Exist. Eventually, the resentment caused by ESPN’s endless genuflecting before the altar of the SEC will lead to the creation of the Big 12 Network, the Pac-10 Network and a new broadcast consortium of less-powerful conferences. In a tangential way, the ESPN-SEC partnership will lead to the dissolution of the BCS and the end of college football as we know it. If you think you hate ESPN now, just wait three months.

5. Your Editor will once again be the only person in the entire Beautiful Wissahickon Valley buying Ro*Tel diced tomatoes and green chiles. Your Editor will struggle to find uses for the product. And yet Your Editor will keep buying Ro*Tel, because Ro*Tel supports the Big Ten Network, and by extension, TCFA Hall of Famer Gerry DiNardo. The Big Ten Network also launched the broadcast career Melanie Collins. Imaigine, for a moment, a world without Melanie Collins. It is not a world I would like to live in.

6. Notre Dame will be in a BCS bowl game.

7. Florida will win the national championship. Nobody will mention their crappy schedule.