Thoughts From the Valley: The End

The Season-Ending Hangover

How I am feeling: Thankful for the sport of college football. What a day Saturday was, folks. Pitt-Cincy was a classic. Georgia Tech-Clemson was a classic. Texas-Nebraska was a classic. Alabama-Florida? Well, it wasn’t a classic, but it was historic; believe me, that game marked the arrival of the next great college football dynasty. We’re going to have to put up with Nick Saban for a long, long time, folks.

What I am drinking: It’s Tuesday morning, after all. I’m on the R8 SEPTA train to Center City Philadelphia, preparing for another day at The Day Job. Deadline week. Not a lot of fun, folks. Not nearly as fun as college football Saturdays, for instance.

What I am listening to: Randy Newman, “Louisiana 1927.” Good bye, college football.

My Thoughts on the Weekend/Season: This was not the season we expected.

Way back in August, I remember feeling fairly confident about the following.

1. Florida would demolish every team it played en route to its third national championship in four years.

2. The Suzuki Heisman race would be among the greatest ever, with The Big Three of Texas’ Colt McCoy (Mrs. Your Editor Favorite Player, Even Though He Almost Blew Texas’ Undefeated Season With That Horrible Clock Management Against Nebraska), Oklahoma’s Sam Bradford and Florida’s Tim Tebow battling it out to the bitter end.

3. USC would easily win its eight straight Pac-10 title.

4. Gene Chizek’s debut at Auburn would be a complete disaster and he would be run out of town after just one season.

5. Rich Rodriguez would lead Michigan to an 8-4 record.

6. The Arrogant One would lead Notre Dame to 10 wins and a BCS bowl bid, and act extremely arrogantly in the process.

7. Bobby Bowden would lead Florida State to nine wins and return in 2010 with a chance to finish his career with a BCS bowl-kind of year.

Well, now it’s December, and here’s what actually happened:

1. Florida struggled all year and, when they finally played somebody with a pulse, got absolutely pummeled.

2. Bradford got hurt way back in Week 1 against BYU and then again in the Red River Shootout against Texas. Now he’s leaving for the NFL. Meanwhile, both McCoy and Tebow got invites to the Suzuki Heisman ceremony, but appear to have almost zero chance of winning it. There is a good chance the award could go to a defensive tackle out of Nebraska. Yes, a defensive tackle.

3. USC lost four freaking games and ended the season out of the Top 25. Their bowl destination? The Emerald Bowl (!) against Boston College (!).

4. Gene Chizek led Auburn to a 7-5 record and an Outback Bowl bid. The Tigers very nearly knocked off Alabama, the best team in the country, in the Iron Bowl.

5. Rich Rodriguez led Michigan to a 4-0 start! And then to a 2-6 finish. The Wolverines missed out on a bowl game. Again. Ann Arbor natives growing increasingly restless.

6. The Arrogant One led the Irish to another disappointing campaign, this one finishing at 6-6-, and actually become somewhat of a sympathetic figure in the process. It’s just hard to dislike a guy who couldn’t beat Navy, UConn and Stanford, folks.

7. Bobby Bowden looked lost, confused and generally befuddled throughout the 2009 season. So did his team. And when it was all over, he got shoved out the door. Sad.

What’s the lesson here, folks?

Well, I shall not belabor the point. The lesson is simple: When it comes to college football, you never know what to expect.

So next July, when all those preseason magazines start coming out, promoting Alabama as an absolute slam dunk to win another national championship (yeah, they’re going to beat Texas on Jan. 7), well, don’t count on it, folks.

Don’t count on it.

Three Yards and a Cloud of Dust

Three: That being said (and because of “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” I now feel extremely awkward using this phrase; which is a shame, because it’s a longtime staple of my arsenal), Alabama figures to be awfully good for an awful long time. SABAN is building a monster in Tuscaloosa. An absolute monster. Oh, and here’s some happy news, Nittany Lions fans: Your team will travel down to ‘Bama to take on the Tide next season. In Week 2. With a first-year starting quarterback. That should be a hoot.

Two: So I'm sure you're wondering, "Gee, I wonder who won the 2009 TCFA Championship?" And if you're wondering this? Well, here's your answer: Michigan Bob Seif won the 2009 TCFA Championship. If the name sounds familiar, well, it should, because as you may know, Bob also won the 2000 TCFA Championship. Bob won his most recent title by knocking off Your Editor's Mentor, Patrick J. Hyland Sr. of Cleveland, Ohio.

One: OK, time for my final update of the season on My Beloved Penn State Nittany Lions. Here goes: Penn State v. LSU in the Capital One aka Citrus Bowl! Not bad, folks. Not bad. There are some in the Nittany Nation bellyaching about the Nits being passed over in favor of Iowa for that Orange Bowl bid (rumor: The Emperor was pushing Iowa on the BCS folks behind closed doors; thanks Emperor, for being impartial as always), but I can’t complain. Besides, you know, the Hawkeyes, um, beat us. And let’s face it—the Cap One is a nice consolation prize. It’s the best non-BCS bowl, and the matchup with LSU is a great one. Did you realize these teams haven’t met since 1974, folks? That was Cappy’s senior year, in the Sugar Bowl, and the Nits won 16-9. Northern Mental Speed And Ability To Hit Harder Than Southern People, folks.  Early prediction for this year’s Tigers-Nits battle? Nits 17, Tigers 10.

Touchdown: Just wanted to say one more time, folks, how much I appreciate you all reading this little online magazine each and every week. It is my great privilege to write about college football, and a great honor to know that you folks take the time out of your busy schedule to read what I have to say. I hope you enjoyed TCFA this season. I hope you have a wonderful off-season. And … I’ll see you in August.