Thoughts From The Valley: Robinson and Bolden, Florida and Forcier

The Hangover

HOW I AM FEELING: Somewhat exhausted. As you might imagine, folks, I was fairly excited about the first Saturday of college football season. So I lived it up, so to speak. Stayed up late. Watched all the highlights. Got my fill of DiNardo analysis. Etc. And, as a result, I didn't get to bed until nearly 1 a.m. But Princess Leah did not take my late night into account, and was up at 6 a.m., as per usual. Tired Your Editor. That is, a Tired But Happy Your Editor. First, because college football is now officially back. Second, because Young Robert is going to be the greatest Penn State quarterback since Kerry Collins. In his debut as a Nittany Lion, Young Robert's line read as follows: 20 of 29, 240 yards, two touchdowns, one interception (not really his fault). He was the first true freshman to start the season for the Nits in ... 100 years. Yes, 100 years! The last guy to do it was named Shorty Miller. He's in the College Football Hall of Fame.

WHAT I AM DRINKING: A Vodka Martini With Blue-Cheese Stuffed Olives. I think I'll have just one. Then I'm going to bed.

WHAT I AM LISTENING TO: John Prine, "Angel From Montgomery." The duet version, with Bonnie Raitt. Damn, what a song, folks.

VILLA UPDATE: Aston Villa FC, Official Barclay's Premier League Football Club Of TCFA, did not play this weekend. They did, however, hire a new manager. His name is Gerard Houllier. I don't know anything about him, because I know almost nothing about the Premier League. What I do know is that Villa currently sits fourth in the league table (they need to finish in the Top 4 to qualify for the Champions League, which is apparently The Greatest Non-College Football Sporting Competition In The World). I also know that they next play on Sept. 13, against something called Stoke City. Go Villains.

MY THOUGHTS ON THE WEEKEND: You just never know what a new college football season will bring, folks.

One of the beauties of this game is its inherent inpredictability. Each year, pretty much every program and every coach in the country faces the same daunting task: Replacing all of those guys who graduated the spring before, and preparing a bunch of newbies for their first season of big-time football.

It's college football's annual rite of summer.

Seniors leave. Freshman arrive. Coaches fret.

Then everybody takes the field for Week 1 and we find out, in a matter of 12 hours or so, what to make of them in the new year.

Which brings us, of course, to this past Saturday—a Saturday that introduced us to new faces and new-look programs, new contenders and new pretenders, and also reminded us of that age-old college football lesson: Whatever you do, you should absolutely not judge this year based on last year.

Because, quite simply, all of those teams out there are not the same teams they were last year.

For some of us, that's a good thing.

For others, it's not.

Take, for instance, Michigan, which is not the same Michigan (in a good way) now that the spectacular Denard Robinson is running the show. Or Notre Dame, which is most certainly not the same Notre Dame (in a good way) now that The Arrogant One has departed and The New Ara Parseghian has arrived.

Georgia, coming off a disappointing 2009, looks reborn under the guidance of the strong-armed, smart and savvy Aaron Murray. Penn State has chartered a promising new course behind the uber-talented Young Robert. And Oregon, despite its stormy off-season, looks like they'll be just fine with Derron Thomas running the show instead of Jeremiah Masoli.

Speaking of Masoli, however, it appears that The Right Reverand's magic has officially worn off in Oxford; the Rebels are a mess. So are the Florida Gators, who look like a four-loss team now that The Chosen One is gone (shocking; oh wait). Pitt, meanwhile, may actually miss Bill Stull more than any Panther fan could have ever imagined.

Oklahoma isn't as good as we thought. Neither is Connecticut. And USC? Well, you can write them off for the next few years or so, thanks in part to NCAA sanctions and, of course, thanks in part their new leader, The Worst Coach In The World, who is almost certain to take a great program and turn it into a flaming pile of [insert your favorite image here].

New faces, new dynamics, new hope, new coaches.

A new start, folks.

And a new season—entirely different from the one before.

THREE YARDS AND A CLOUD OF DUST

THREE: At 11:08 a.m. Saturday morning, Your Editor tweeted out the following message to his multitudinous followers: "Breaking news: Tate Forcier named San Diego State's starting quarterback. For the 2012 season." The "joke," if you could call it that (come on, it was a little bit witty, right?), was of course made in reference to the news that The Snake-Oil Salesman Wearing A Wizard's Hat had named sophomore Denard Robinson his starting quarterback for 2010. Second on the depth chart was freshman Devin Gardner. And third? Well, third on the depth chart was none other than the Wolverines' 2009 starter and one-time Heisman hopeful, Tate Forcier. Hence my reference to the transfer, and to San Diego State (he's from San Diego, folks). Again, my tweet was nothing more than An Attempt At Humor/Levity. But it turns out I may have been right, in a weird way. Because do you know what The Famously Fussy Forcier told a reporter from the Ann Arbor News immediately following Michigan's 30-10 win over Connecticut (a 30-10 win in which Forcier did not play a down)? Well, he told the reporter this: "All you need to know is I'm out." San Diego State, here comes Tate. He's all class. And he loves competition.

TWO: The North Carolina-LSU game, which was "won" (sort of) by the Tigers with a last-minute goal-line "stand" (sort of), had to be The Single Most Disappointing And/Or Boring "Big Game" In The Recent History Of Big Games. North Carolina was missing about 75 players because of an ongoing agent/cheating scandal that figures to destroy the program and dispatch Butch Davis to North Texas. LSU, for their part, looked undisciplined and generally overrated. As usual, The Hat did stupid things. Oh, and then there's this: the game was played in a soulless, sad dome—a rented NFL stadium without any character or inherent goodness. Other than that, it was a great game.

ONE: The uniforms TCU wore against Oregon State made me angry. Literally, they made me angry. Let me say this much, folks: I generally like TCU. I recently met a very nice person who works for TCU. I am very pro-Gary Patterson. I am a great admirer of the Horned Frogs cheerleaders. And, yes, when I have watched TCU in years past, I have always found myself rooting for them. But on Saturday night, I wasn't rooting for them. For just one reason: Those uniforms. I pledge to you, folks, this much: I will not and can not support any team that wears uniforms that are that awful. Because I have standards.

TOUCHDOWN: Folks, are you award of The Awesomeness That Awaits Us Next Saturday? If not, then I offer you a This Sampling Of The Awesomeness That Awaits Us Next Saturday: No. 13 Miami at No. 2 Ohio State. No. 20 Florida State at No. 7 Oklahoma. No. 11 Oregon at Tennessee (upset alert). No. 23 Georgia at South Carolina (upset alert). Michigan at Notre Dame (will be a classic). Oh, and No. 19 Penn State at No. 1 Alabama. These next five days will be The Longest Five Days Of Your Editor's Life.